These words describe my year so far: a precariously balanced compendium of the equally positive and negative. Certain choices in life are often harder to make than they seem like they should be. For me, my recent decision to go back to the UTEP to finish my Bachelor’s degree was probably one of the hardest choices I’ve made in my entire life.
It would seem like a no-brainer to simply jump back into school after a 5 year hiatus and have no qualms about it. However, things are never as they seem. As a completely single mother with no family to rely on and my son’s father David, living 500 miles away, we finally came to a decision to have our son live with David while I finish my degree.
This decision didn’t come about lightly, of course. Luckily, David and I have this really wonderful type of relationship in that we don’t hate each other and we’re actually very open about every aspect of our lives, especially when it comes to our son. It wasn’t always that way, trust me.
As things were, Benjamin just didn’t spend enough time with his father and it’s never fair to keep a son away from his father for too long, even if it’s out of anyone’s control. Then I remembered the whole reason I came back to El Paso to begin with: to finish my degree. Of course, when I originally moved back, I figured I would have some family support but boy was I wrong.
Once the decision was made, I talked to my son about it and explained the situation as thoroughly as I could. I felt pangs of guilt as we discussed certain plans that we had made: Benjamin was to attend a Kenpo Karate dojo and enroll in dance classes at a local studio once he returned to El Paso from Clovis. I then made the promise to him that he would attend both those activities in Clovis and so far, he has. He’s now signed up for Hip-Hop Dance classes and an MMA Fighting studio in Clovis.
I started making arrangements at UTEP to enroll and now I am nearly done with the entire grueling process of waiting for financial aid, making sure my classes don’t run over each other and paying for books. I’m about 2 weeks away from the first day of school and I’m slightly nervous about it. I changed my major from Philosophy to Multimedia Marketing, since I’m pretty much doing that already and I might as well get a solidified degree in the field of which I enjoy working in.
Which is another thing, too; my professional life has unexpectedly skyrocketed. As I have mentioned before, my day job is with a logistics factoring company and I initially started as a Collector. I was promoted to an Account Manager recently, but I turned this promotion down due to school and my other work activities.
In addition to this, I have been writing regularly for El Paso Times and Fusion Magazine and just recently landed a very enjoyable gig with local promoting company, SMG Events. You can take a look at my ‘Resume’ to see some of my recent work.
In short, I’ve been wildly busy. I think it will do my son very well to live with his father for some time, as they’re enjoy a close relationship and it will allow me some time to normalize my work flow, get my degree and become a better provider.